The Battle for Comfortable Misery

In a satirical manner, Gen Zs prepare to take on NTI once again in order to get back to the comfortable misery of their lives before COVID-19.

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Gen Z vs. COVID-19; Art Work by Central Times staff member Elisea Conto

Lindy Dale, Writer

Ahhhh yes, NTI. Our old foe. Back for round two we see. We thought after last time you might have given up. Remember last time, ya know when you tricked us into liking you because we didn’t have to go to school but secretly it was all a plot to make us more anxious and depressed. You knocked us out for a bit, but we got back up and we fought. We fought hard.

Come on NTI, did you really think you stood a chance against Gen Z? Like for real dude, we were so traumatized before you came into our lives that nothing you could do would have had a lasting effect on us. Wanna give us anxiety? Yeah, been there done that. You wanna make us depressed? Well then, we’ll turn you into a meme and laugh in your face. You wanna take us away from our friends? HAHHAHAHA! Jokes on you; half of us don’t even think we have friends. And you know what your biggest mistake was? Making school online.

You can’t beat Gen Z when it comes to the internet. Oh no. You see, we are the Internet Generation. We are Gen Tech. We sit at home so much doing nothing they call us the Homeland Generation. We are Gen Wii, iGeneration, the Digital Natives, and now because of you we are The Zoomers. 

You can’t beat us at a game we invented. You gotta mean swing, but this sport isn’t about strength; this is a game of wits.

Now as for round two, we hope you are prepared to take us on. Six months has gone by since our last fight and we have literally been sitting doing nothing but anticipating what is to come. You can do whatever you want to us and it will all appear as a friendly gesture compared to what we’ve been through. 

We’ve faced foes that  divided us in a way you never thought too. They used our hearts to turn us on each other, yet we are still standing. We’ve grown stronger and at this point we honestly believe we are invincible. 

Yeah, we are still divided in our hearts, but you’ve once again physically separated us. You wanna know what that means? It means we are stuck with our families for long periods of time. The one thing Gen Zs can center behind is less family interaction… WE HATE IT! Don’t take that the wrong way, we love our families; we just can’t handle them. Parents and siblings are too much, so you can bet that we are about to unite with our newfound strength and beat your patootie. 

We will put down our differences so that we can argue in the sanctuary of each other’s company! We will unite under the cause of sociability so that we can ignore others publicly! We will not be forced into our rooms to hide! We will fight for the right to cower when we want to! We will stand together apart so that we can stand apart together!

This is our time, our life, our misery. You are a fool if you think you can upset the delicate strength of our generation’s mental health. We’ve seen it all. Break us more if you want. We welcome fractures. They make our edges sharper. 

No pain, no gain.

Break a leg. 

See you on the screen.

-Gen Z