Is it Really Love?

The Difference Between Falling in Love and Being in Love With the Idea

Stay by Reynier Llanes

“Stay” by Reynier Llanes

Alayna Edblom, Writer

There’s no denying that “true love” is an experience everyone wishes to have at least once in their life, and preferably keep for the rest of it. After all, being in a relationship seems to have all the things a person could ask for: unlimited affection, support, communication, loyalty, honesty, and an overall best friend. It’s no wonder that so many people search desperately for the one that they can call “soulmate.”

However, finding love isn’t always as easy as it may appear. Many struggle with differentiating between actually falling in love and simply romanticizing about it. This is one of the many topics where fantasy and reality collide to become a possibly heartbreaking affair. Understanding the difference between the two is important for not only finding love in someone else, but also in oneself.

Romanticizing and being infatuated with the idea of love is not being in love with another. Even if someone is in a relationship or seems to really like a person, that doesn’t mean they are in love with said person. Instead, they are most likely in love with the connotations of being in love, such as having someone they care about more than anything or having someone to fill their needs and spend all their time with. It’s a comforting thought to have, but it can lead to high expectations that may never be met.

Movies, TV shows, books, and other forms of entertainment are a main cause of these thoughts and standards, fueling the minds of teenagers and adults alike. Everyone wants to believe that they will have that perfect Romeo and Juliet romance, but that just isn’t the case. Love isn’t all kissing and dancing, it’s difficult to find and takes time, but it’s always worth that bittersweet connection.

Now truly falling in love with somebody, that is an emotion that cannot be mistaken. When someone has fallen in love, it envelops their thoughts. They can’t stop thinking about their person, they can’t imagine life without them, they crave their company and their time. And let this not be confused with lust. Lust is an overwhelming feeling that is usually at its peak in the beginning of a relationship, that will eventually fade into intimacy. The bond only grows stronger between these two people as they learn to live through each other and not through their wants.

To reflect on these reasons, love is a complicated thing to discuss and think over. The human heart will always succumb to what it feels, but it is within the mind to decide what is real. Logic and emotion are both equally necessary in discovering the branches of adoration. It’s not a crime to yearn for love, there just needs to be a fine line to what it means to be in love and what is only a state of mind.