“It’s Saturday! Why aren’t you hanging out with your friends? It has to be boring to stay in every weekend. Don’t you feel lonely?”

Questions from others and myself that I think about every week. Why don’t I go out? Why do I not have plans with my friends every weekend?

Then I remember, I don’t want to go out.

I want to stay at home. I want to hang out with my parents and my siblings. I want to stay up all night and finish that book I’ve been reading the past week. 

I want to go to Starbucks every morning with my mom, my best friend. I want my dad to take me to get my nails done while I vent to him and he vents to me. I want to talk about what happens in the future with my step-mom, who reassures me I’ll always have them. I want to listen to my stepdad’s awful dad jokes. I want to play games with my little brother and sister.  I want to be mad at my brother after listening to him scream at his video games in the room over. 

I have my friends, but my parents are the ones who have been there since day one and will be there until their last. My parents are the ones that know everything about me. They are the ones I come to when I have a problem. They are the ones I want to spend as much time with as possible before I’m on my own before they’re too old to take care of me. 

I love my friends. I really do. But when I look back on my high school years I don’t want to remember those late nights when I was out and came home to a dark house. I want to remember bitter-sweet moments with my family, and my friends. 

I have 645 days until I’m an ‘official’ adult. I have 934 days until I am released into the real world. I don’t have much longer before I’ll be taking on more responsibilities. It’s scary to think that just next year I’ll be considered an adult. So as the clock clicks down, I want to be able to remember the good moments and the not-so-good ones with my family. 

I’ve been told many stories from people of all different backgrounds that one thing they wish they did more when they still had their families around is spend time with them and respect them. Therefore, in the last 934 days I have left, that’s what I’m going to do. 

I will continue to stay home during the weekend. I will continue to spend time with my family instead of going out. I will continue to do this even as I’m older.

So to answer these questions I continue to ask myself, I don’t feel lonely.